Realize that anyone who tries to change your mind will try to make you feel guilty, so that you give in. They give you lots of reasons, valid believable reasons, and then blame you for being irresponsible, etc. if you say no. They often work you hard and long to wear you down so they achieve their goal. This article is inspired by Canadian author Mary Kassian over at Girls Gone Wise.
Here’s some tools to resist the manipulation mechanism. Be prepared:
- Don’t let their comments “stick”. Let them run off of you like water off a duck’s back.
- Agree. Each time the person gives you another reason or tries to attack you, agree with them. Agree with their comment (in whole or in part), or agree with their right to an opinion. “I can see why you might think that…”
- Rewind/repeat. Rewind the tape, as it were, and repeat your position.
- Keep holding your position, don’t give in! If you have decided you have decided.
Kassian demonstrates this by giving an everyday example:
Jane: “Would you like to baby-sit tonight?”
Karen: “No. I am tired and want to spend a quiet evening at home tonight.”
Jane: “The kids sure enjoy having you as a babysitter.”
Karen: “That’s great! But I just want to relax at home tonight.”
Jane: “I don’t know if I can find another sitter on such short notice.”
Karen: “That may be, but I just want to spend a quiet evening at home tonight.”
Jane: (getting agitated) “I really need to get out! Don’t you care?”
Karen: “I can see that you want to go out tonight and I do care, but I am tired and want to spend a quiet evening at home.”
Jane: “Some friend you are!”
Karen: “I can see how you might feel irritated with me, but I just want to spend a quiet evening at home tonight.” “Ask me again some other time.”
Scientology’s skillful manipulation
When it comes to cults and other deceiving and manipulating groups or individuals, sociopaths, etc. you are pushed to the extreme. These cults, especially the Church of Scientology is highly trained and extremely skilled in deceiving its parishioners. Being strong and intelligent is not enough to defend yourself against them. They have the tools to get you and make you give in – whatever it takes.
I was in Scientology for 10 years so I know how devastating their methods are. Part of those years I was in a relationship with a sociopath from the same cult. I was lied to, deceived, manipulated and abused weekly for years. By being coerced to do things that are against your integrity can and will ruin your life, your belief in yourself and your self-respect. I had no clue what I entered into when I started my Scientology journey and what harmful effects it had on my life.
WARNING: The Church of Scientology goes after your kids because they know that kids are easier to manipulate than adults. Ex-Scientologist Lori Hodgson lost both her kids to Scientology and are not allowed to see or talk to them. Please watch her story:
In How to resist manipulation (Part 2), I will share some videos about how critical thinking can make you more resistant to manipulation. And how to practice critical thinking with your kids.
Stay clear. Stay strong. Never give in!