Scientology took the best 10 years of my life. There’s a featured article in the news today called “The Bridge to Ruin” – my journey to financial ruin in Scientology.

Click on the screenshot above to read the article. Click here if you want to read the English by Google Translate version.

Scientologists from all of Europe are traveling to Scientology’s European headquarters in Copenhagen, Denmark to climb the “Bridge to Total Freedom”. Kristeligt Dagblad is a Danish newspaper publishing articles on religious and moral topics.

Too good to be true?
If something sounds too good to be true, maybe it is. Trust your instincts and run away.

There are many people who have walked away from Scientology remaining silent. Afraid of repercussions from the church. Some hide in anger, regret and shame. I admit it has been embarrassing. But I’ve put all that behind and decided to be open about it.

Hitler brainwashed a nation
No one is manipulation proof. Manipulation makes the impossible possible. Every day we’re tricked a bit. Like when we see a commercial ending up buying stuff we didn’t even know we needed.

We know all your secrets!
In the Church of Scientology they keep archives of all your secrets. Written down or recorded. Your confessionals and interrogations with an e-meter, a lie-detector-like device, are usually recorded by hidden video cameras. In case you leave in the future, they know where to look in order to shut you up if you dare speak out about what you have witnessed.

If my story can prevent just one other person from experiencing the same, it is worth it!

Are you manipulation proof?
A person told me: “I’m not that type of person to be lured into a cult.” At first I was somewhat provoked, then happy – on the person’s behalf. It’s just a sign that the person has not been subjected to such manipulation. A very lucky person indeed!

In Scientology, the manipulation happens gradually over the years. It’s not like people are beaten at the entrance and then happily walk further into the cult. It’s much more insidious. Scientology makes sure you get enough positive outcomes that you continue to put money in the pot until the point on which the negative experiences outweigh the positives. Like the actor Jason Beghe said: The world’s best mousetrap doesn’t work without cheese.

What your donation buys – No, it’s not humanitarian aid
If the donations had gone to a good cause like helping children in need, it wouldn’t be that big deal to lose everything. When you find out people’s donations pay for expensive lawyers and private investigators to spy on and harass Scientology defectors, you get angry. The money has also gone to fund Scientology leader David Miscavige luxurious lifestyle with private jets and expensive Scotch whisky. The members have no clue.

Here I am with my favorite cult leader. I would probably look more angry if I knew I just paid for his party.

The Church of Scientology could be doing us a favor by removing itself from the face of earth.

The only folks we saw were Sarah Heller from OSA, Antonio and other security guards and police officers.
What happened to the international unprecedented straight up vertical expansion of Scientology? Obviously it doesn’t happen here in ghost town Clearwater.

Tired of late night visits from Scientologists begging for money? Endless phone calls, pressure to give more and more? What happened to flourish and prosper?
You are tired, unhappy and WORRIED. Your credit cards are maxed out and your bank accounts are empty. Your org is empty too.

You’re not alone. Something IS wrong. Now consider this before leaving Scientology, written by Intentionally Blank over at ESMB (read in full):

“Scientology has imprisoned people at different sites around the US for sure and maybe elsewhere in the world. Imprisoned. As in – locked them up and taken away their freedom to make their own decisions about their lives.

People in Scientology have been beaten. They’ve been forced to have abortions against their will. Children are separated from their parents and kept in less than ideal conditions. Staffers and Sea Org members work long hours without adequate pay or benefits.

I know you’ve seen things. I know you know things. Before you blow, stop and think – what do you know, what have you seen, what do you have access to that can save someone else?

This is the 21st century. Do you have a cell phone? What can you snap a picture of? I have a friend who saw people locked away on the RPF. What can you record? Almost every smart phone has an app for audio recording. What information can you copy? No, I don’t mean pc folders – but emails, internal memos, the kind of information you’ve seen that made you think staying in is contrary to your integrity and you need to get out. Take a picture, copy onto a USB drive. “

If you have witnessed situations that could be violating law you should contact your local police department or proper authorities.

Welcome to freedom! Take back your integrity. ♥

The reason some people haven’t left the church is because they haven’t been bitch slapped hard enough – yet!

Policies Scientology doesn’t want you to know about

Scientology’s mind-control mechanism:
Every bad thing that happens to you is your fault – “you pulled it in”. Every good thing that happends to you is credited the church. Every bad thing that happens to the church is because of evil Suppressive People (SPs). People then blame themselves when they experience bad things. You see how crazy this is.

Message to Scientologists (To non-Scientologists: Google is your friend):
When you start your own investigation of the church you’ll find out that every thing the church accuses others of doing they are actually guilty of themselves. Open your PTS/SP pack and find the HCOB 15 Sept. 81 THE CRIMINAL MIND: “The criminal accuses others of things which he himself is doing.”

Overcome FEAR, start looking. FEAR is just an illusion created to keep you trapped. Scientology is The Truman Show. You live in a bubble. Hey. There’s a big friendly world out here with endless opportunities.

Punished for finding out the truth and helping the church:
Greg and Debra Barnes, both on OT 7, moved their family and business to Clearwater, Florida to live close to Flag, the Scientology Mecca. They were Scientologists for some 20 years when they reported out-tech to RTC: OT 7s are not supposed to be interfered with. There’s a policy on that. You should not do sec-checks or FPRD on OT 7s. Still they sec-check OT 7s every 6th month. They call it a 6-month “Refresher”. It is not. It is the church’s cash cow and it invalidates people big time. The Barnes family went through hell after they reported this out-tech. The church started a black PR campaign with false accusations, made-up lies and false KRs about the Barnes and forced their friends of 20 years to disconnect from them. The Barnes did not get a single copy of the KRs. And were torn apart in a non-standard Comm-Ev. The church orchestrated the perfect set-up to discredit them.

Here’s the Barnes’ story of what the Church of Scientology does to ruin the lives of dedicating members that have found out about the church’s real intentions. Here you will see the policy letter the church is hiding from you. This is a perfect example describing the Church of Scientology’s methods of manipulation, blackmailing and invalidation. The video is 1 hour 20 minutes and I guarantee you the time watching is well spent:

This might as well have been you. Maybe you are next in line. Listen to your gut feeling. Follow your heart. Take no shit. Claim back your life. ❤

Dette er dessverre skjebnen til mange religiøse avhoppere. Skifter man mening og melder seg ut har det store konsekvenser. Familiebånd kuttes over. Dem du trodde var dine nærmeste venner gir deg en kald skulder og de fleste er så feige at de ikke engang tar opp telefonen eller skriver til deg for å spørre hva som har skjedd og hvorfor du har valgt å gå en annen vei. Hele din person slettes for alltid fra deres netthinder. Du eksisterer ikke lenger og har heller aldri eksistert.

Peder Blåmoli opplevde dette da han som 22 årig forlot Jehovas Vitner og sto på bar bakke uten familie. På uriks.no deler han morens kalde brev.
Peders kone som aldri var med i Jehovas vitner skrev følgende tilbake:

Kjære svigerforeldre. Jeg leste brevet du skrev til Peder mange ganger. Trusselen om å enten bli et jehovas vitne ellers ingen kontakt, er så respektløs og simpel, at vi først ikke trodde det vi så. Hvordan er det egentlig mulig å oppføre seg så stygt mot sine nærmeste?

ALLE mennesker har trosfrihet og krav på gjensidig respekt. Min kjære mann er et svært eksemplarisk, godt og omtenksomt menneske som behandler alle likt. Uansett religion eller livssyn så blir alle møtt med den samme respekt, omtanke og kjærlighet.
Han skaper aldri splittelse og hat mellom mennesker. Boken hans (”Sjelens stemme”) har hjulpet mange til å finne mening, trygghet og glede i livet.

Fordi Peder aldri vil klare å oppføre seg så stygt og hjerteløst mot andre mennesker som det dere gjør, passer han selvsagt ikke i deres ”menighet”.

Alle normale mennesker kaller dette for psykisk terror.
Dette er mental vold og burde vært politianmeldt på lik linje med fysisk vold. Hilsen Aleksandra Blåmoli.

Det å avskrive og trakassere sine barn, familie og venner som har brutt med sin tidligere tro er en psykisk torturmetode som benyttes av de fleste sekter jeg har kjennskap til.

I Scientologi hører dette med til regelen snarere enn unntaket. Når man er med i en bevegelse som har de eneste verktøyene til å redde planeten fra den sikre undergang er det utrolig hva man kan få seg til å gjøre. Hvis det går med noen liv på veien er det verdt det. Man må gjøre det beste for de fleste, ikke sant! For hva betyr vel det når du allikevel har hatt millioner av barn i dine tidligere liv og flere til i dine kommende livstider. Det er nå du har denne enestående sjansen. Fremtidens generasjoner vil takke deg for din hengivne innsats.

Jeg kaller det hjernevask.

Du kan lese mer om scientologenes ekstreme tankegang i min artikkel En dødelig cocktail: Scientologi, Psykopati og Ekstremisme og enda mer dybdegående i kapittelet Å forstå en scientolog i Geir Isenes selvbiografi Nittenåttifire, som fås i en bokhandel nær deg eller som ebok hos Humanist Forlag.

Dear Scientologist … Did you know that David Miscavige, the leader of Scientology, ordered his minions to torture Debbie Cook while she was kidnapped and held against her will at The Hole, one of the Scientology prison camps in Hemet just outside Los Angeles? The Hole is a prison on the compound of the International headquarters of Scientology. Se video from Debbie’s court testimony below.

Debbie Cook was a high ranking executive, the captain of Flag Service Organization, the “Mecca” of Scientology for 17 years. She had signed a billion year contract to serve Scientology for the rest of her life – and every lifetime to come. She was part of the Sea Org, the clergy of Scientology, for almost 30 years until she escaped for good.

You might recognize Debbie from the Scientology Source Magazines:

Hell broke loose after Debbie Cook sent out a New Year email to 12,000 Scientologists where she condemned church leader David Miscavige for turning Scientology into more than just a money making machine. From Debbie’s Facebook wall:

Click to read her email (PDF):

Over 100 Scientology executives in prison!
Four weeks after Debbie Cook sent out her email the Church of Scientology sued her for “breaking the gag-order” she was forced to sign when she left the Sea Org. The parties later settled. This video contains Debbie’s testimony under oath in a Court of Law where she reveals the life inside The Hole where over 100 church executives are incarcerated:

So, isn’t it about time to leave this place?
No church or religion owns your eternity. Your eternity belongs to you. There’s no copyright or patent on your life, your dreams, your well-being and your future. ♥

Mine tanker omkring dette:
Ikke overraskende, sett i lyset av at Nederland både legaliserer narkotika og selger kvinner åpenlyst og lovlig som om de var koteletter i en kjøttdisk.

Red Light District, Amsterdam (StopTheTraffik.org) :

Det som kanskje er overraskende er at det har tatt Scientologikirken så mange år å bli fritatt fra skatt i nettopp et slikt “løsluppent” land, spesielt med tanke på Scientologikirkens omfattende bruk av manipulering og lobbyvirksomhet.

Scientologikirken – en veldedig organisasjon?
Scientologikirken er en ulv i fåreklær som har veldig lite med UFO-er og galaktiske hærførere å gjøre slik det ofte fremstilles på nettet. Scientologikirken ER en pengemaskin som svindler “kundene” sine ved å selge dem livsforbedringskurs i vakre bygninger rundt om i verden. Begynnerkursene er rimelige og man får ofte stort utbytte av disse. De kan virkelig forbedre livet til folk, derav navnet. Bra sosiale programmer har Scientologikirken også – de hjelper narkomane og de hjelper folk til å studere bedre.

Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre, Los Angeles, USA:

Dette er jo ikke hjernevask, tenker man. Men det er her bordet fanger. Plutselig hungrer man etter mer visdom, flere kurs og åndelig utvikling. Dette var jo så bra at det er klart man ønsker å nå hele veien til toppen. År etter år studerer man verker forfattet av én mann – ikke rart tankesettet blir snevert med tiden. Det blir dyrere og dyrere jo lenger opp i systemet man kommer, mens håpet om åndelig frihet blir mindre og mindre. Og etterhvert som det positive utbyttet ikke lenger overskygger alt det negative man opplever – og man er tom for unnskyldninger og bortforklaringer på hvorfor man ikke har oppnådd det man ble lovet og som man hadde drømt om, ønsket seg, trodd og håpet på – ja, da ender man opp forvirret, skuffet, alene, ruinert og isolert fra den virkelige verden.

Det er kun pengene dine Scientologikirken er ute etter. DU betyr ingenting. 

Det sitter en maktsyk leder, David Miscavige, på toppen og håver inn penger, mens han lever et luksusliv i sus og dus med privatfly, damer og dyr skotsk whisky – på din regning! Og når han finner det for godt banker han undersåttene sine så blodet spruter.

Innleide privatdetektiver
Medlemmenes donasjoner, som Scientologikirken presser ut av dem på alle tenkelige vis og med metoder som knapt nok tåler dagens lys, går blant annet til å dekke dyre advokater som leier inn privatetterforskere som igjen leier lumske privatdetektiver (PIs) for å forfølge, ydmyke, forsøke psyke ut og gjøre livet til et sant helvete 24 timer i døgnet for scientologer som forlater bevegelsen. Noen kritikere har blitt forfulgt i mange år! Det går hardest ut over dem som har jobbet nærmest ledelsen og som dermed vet mest. De skal skremmes til å tie om det de har observert og erfart på innsiden. Heldigvis er det noen som ikke lar seg skremme og som står frem med sine historier.

Her kan du se forfølgelse av tre nylige avhoppere i USA:

Prøv å Google “Scientology”. Resultat: Skrekkhistorier om tortur, trusler, svindel, selvmord og mistenkelige dødsfall. Scientologer får ikke lov å se, høre eller lese kritikk om Scientologikirken. Hvorfor? De er jo livredde for at medlemmene skal finne ut hva som foregår bak kulissene og stikke av. Slik jeg gjorde etter 10 år.

Abusive relationships, mind-controlling cults, the sudden loss of loved ones, accidents, medical operations, childhood neglect, rape and sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, assault, war, natural disasters, kidnapping, terrorist attacks, the list goes on.

I hope this article and my story can inspire you or someone you know to get the help you, he or she deserves.

FIRST SOME FACTS ABOUT PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a severe condition that may develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as sexual assault, serious injury or the threat of death. The diagnosis may be given when a group of symptoms such as disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and hyperarousal (high levels of anxiety) continue for more than a month after the traumatic event.

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) also known as “multiple interrelated post traumatic stress disorder” or Developmental Trauma Disorder is a psychological injury that results from protracted exposure to prolonged social and/or interpersonal trauma in the context of either captivity or entrapment (a situation lacking a viable escape route for the victim), which results in the lack or loss of control, helplessness, and deformations of identity and sense of self. C-PTSD is distinct from, but similar to, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The difference between PTSD and a normal response to trauma
The traumatic events that lead to post-traumatic stress disorder are usually so overwhelming and frightening that they would upset anyone. Following a traumatic event, almost everyone experiences at least some of the symptoms of PTSD. When your sense of safety and trust are shattered, it’s normal to feel crazy, disconnected, or numb. It’s very common to have bad dreams, feel fearful, and find it difficult to stop thinking about what happened. These are normal reactions to abnormal events.

For most people, however, these symptoms are short-lived. They may last for several days or even weeks, but they gradually lift. But if you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the symptoms don’t decrease. You don’t feel a little better each day. In fact, you may start to feel worse.

Click the tables for further PTSD symptoms, causes and self-help tips.

HEALING THROUGH UNDERSTANDING
After I left both the cult (Church of Scientology) and the sociopathic relationship, I isolated myself trying to avoid social situations. Not that I feared people but I knew I would break down crying if they asked me: Hi, how are you doing? I often went out among people but I didn’t want to socialize with them. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. For example I suddenly burst out crying if someone passing me nearby raised his voice. It reminded me of getting yelled at. Instinctively I covered myself with an invisible shield to protect myself from external influences. Though my biggest “enemy” was my own thoughts. I was gradually becoming closed and emotionally numb. I was just floating around as days went by.

I tried not getting exposed to my own mind.
Memories, pain, confusion. I needed to straighten things out for myself. I read many articles and books covering the topics of my worries. That helped a lot. And I reached a time where I had to open up my own box of traumatic memories.

During that healing process I started to feel worse. Both emotionally and physically. I had burning pain in my muscles and joints. I spent most of the time in bed – for months. Apathy, anger, grief. The entire range of emotions. A good sign – at least I had opened up.

I’ve been coping with PTSD or C-PTSD since some 8 years now without seeking professional help. Because I couldn’t! I could not seek professional help outside Scientology when I was part of that cult. Even though I desperately wanted. Then I would have risked getting expelled, frowned upon, being humiliated, losing my job and my friends. And it was situations in the church that prompted my PTSD condition in the first place, a condition that over the years grew worse and worse. Especially after I was introduced to a Scientologist sociopath I ended up spending over 5 years together with before I managed to escape it all. I suffered alone for too many years.

Seek help! You don’t have to suffer alone
You deserve to be understood. You deserve to be helped.
I’ve gotten lots of helpful advice at Dixi, a resource center for rape and sexual assault victims here in Oslo, Norway. There are lots of different resources out there handling different traumas. Contact your nearest resource center and get help with your trauma.

Ask your doctor if he or she can refer you to a professional therapist who is experienced with treating PTSD. I just did (finally!) and I’m waiting for the approval.

I still sense fear in my stomach whenever my phone rings or an SMS beeps in. And I still find myself hiding when someone unexpectedly knocks on our door. It used to be much worse. Things have improved a lot. I can now walk out getting the mail without feeling terror most of the times. In the past I was even terrified watching others opening their mail. It was that bad. In periods I didn’t answer my phone at all even when I recognized the numbers of friends and family. My email inbox counted some 600 unopened emails (not spam). I was too afraid someone would give me bad news. I was overwhelmed by life to that degree that one more piece of bad news and I would die straight of shock.

Clear your mind
My love, Geir Isene, has helped me tremendously to sort out my worries and unfinished tasks and we have put the items down on paper(s). Ready to be tackled one by one. Simple and powerful. Read his successful approach A method of helping another and help yourself or others.

And I realized that most of the things I worried about did not happen. Some did in fact happen, but most of them didn’t. So lots of waste of worries there. Geir helped me sending out emails concerning the most urgent items on my list. In that way I had thrown away the ball and bought myself time to handle the items. When you are overwhelmed you cannot handle anything, you don’t see any solutions and you’re trapped in a negative pattern.

To buy myself time to handle one thing at a time was the biggest relief! 

Re-connect and re-engage
I’m still working on going more out and socialize. I still prefer to stay at home. I have always enjoyed spending time alone. I’m a great company to myself ha ha. But it is different spending time alone enjoying reading books, playing music, dancing, or just relax, another is staying at home worrying without no other output than worry.

Dr. Megan McElheran talks about the importance of re-connection and re-engaging with others in the process of PTSD recovery at this 2011 TEDxTalk. I find her speech much helpful and profound. Those 16 minutes of watching her speech is well spent:

Are you helping a loved one with PTSD?
Don’t take the symptoms of PTSD personally. Common symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder include emotional numbness, anger, and withdrawal. If your loved one seems distant, irritable, or closed off, remember that this may not have anything to do with you or your relationship.

I took back my life
I have taken back control of my life by writing. And by confronting the oppressors. I have examined the truth of what has happened to me – details that were buried deep.

After I watched the story of the Norwegian runner and rape survivor, Monika Korra, I got inspired and I searched the Internet for help. I found the Dixi resource center and got lot of helpful advice there. I’m grateful I found Monika’s story. She sparked a desire in me to move forward and regain control. And I begun speaking out.

Going public with my thoughts and sharing my experiences – with the sole intention of helping myself and others overcome their trauma and feeling less ashamed – has played the most vital part in my recovery process. 

Monika Korra wanted to be a role model for other victims of sexual assault. She wanted other women to speak out. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 74 percent of all rapes go unreported, and 15 of every 16 rapists go free. Monika wants to help change that. Please read and watch her story:

I was always strong. Now I’m stronger.

Late nights I entered different forums on the Internet talking to other victims of sociopaths while my sociopath was sleeping. I got lots of helpful advice, love and understanding.

DO NOT GET FOOLED BY THEIR INITIAL CHARM
Today I revisited one of those forums where a friend of mine just posted a link to an article The Gray Rock method of dealing with psychopaths, here’s an excerpt:

When dealing with malignant narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderlines, drama queens, stalkers and other emotional vampires, it’s commonly advised that no response is the best response to unwanted attention. This is often true and No Contact (the avoidance of all communication) should be used whenever possible.

Furthermore, many of us have tried to end a relationship with a psychopath several times, only to take them back, each time. They turned on the pity ploy and the charm, and because we didn’t understand that this is what a psychopath does, we fell for their promises to change. They know all of our emotional hooks. For them, it’s easy and fun to lure us back by appealing to our emotions. But a psychopath can’t change. In fact, when you leave a psychopath, he becomes determined to punish you even more severely for thinking you could be autonomous.

A psychopath is an addict. He is addicted to power. His power is acquired by gaining access to our emotions. He is keenly aware of this and needs to constantly test to make sure we are still under his control.

Your emotional responses are his food of choice, but they aren’t the only things he wants.

He envies everything pretty, shiny and sparkly that you have and he wants whatever you value. You must hide anything that he will notice and envy.

The reason he wants to take these things from you, is not necessarily because he wants them for himself, it’s because he wants to see the emotions on your face when you lose them. He wants the power trip associated with being the one who took them from you.

(*Featured top photo: Patrick Bateman from the film American Psycho)

WARNING: YOU WILL LOSE EVERYTHING
I lost so much during that relationship it’s hard to count. I was promised all the time he would help me out while I was living in complete apathy. Not financially, but help me with things like making phone calls that I had a hard time to confront, help me open letters and so on. Sometimes I wished he could just sit next to me while I opened a letter. I didn’t ask for much. Of course none happened. He and the church combined broke me down to a level where I couldn’t open my mail for four years! I trusted him. And he betrayed me utterly. I had money in my bank account to cover my bills but I was so beaten down I couldn’t even open my online banking to pay them. One big mess.

THE COST OF BEING CONNECTED TO A SOCIOPATH WAS BRUTAL!
I lost two apartments, my car, all my musical instruments, my trumpet, my clarinet, my classical guitar, my precious cornet I got for my 10 years birthday, my violin, my camera, my camera equipment, my projector, etc. Any value I had was taken away. And I had no clue it happened. Taking away the tools of an artist and you kill the artist. All the while he pretended to be sorry.

Even my E-meter (a very expensive Scientology counselling tool) was taken away from me and was sold for nothing at an auction as a “lie detector”. Funny now that I look back.

These are just physical things anyway and can be replaced. But some items have huge sentimental value to me and I have cried my share of tears for the losses.

Especially the loss of my Yamaha Cornet. I was so proud when my father gave it to me. My first own instrument. He played the trumpet as well when he was a kid. And I planned to give this Cornet to my future kids. I had it for 25 years, now it’s gone. Sold at an auction for nothing. My father died of cancer last year, this was a precious gift and memory of him. I would do much to get it back.

STAY CLEAR OF SOCIOPATHS AND CULTS
My sociopath often joked about how he had drowned his ex-girlfriends in the pond outside his house and buried them in his basement. Only a sick person is making such “jokes”.

More on his craziness in this article: A deadly cocktail: Scientologi, Psykopati og Ekstremisme. (It’s written in Norwegian, use Google Translate.) The fact that the Church of Scientology is protecting monsters like that again proves they are nothing but a cult.

I was solvent and successful with a promising education and career but I left with nothing but huge debts and a broken soul.

SHARE THIS KNOWLEDGE
I pray and hope people will educate themselves and avoid getting abused and deceived by emotional vampires and manipulative cults. Please share this article if you know anyone who this information might be of help. Knowledge is the first step out.

Here are some educational videos. Visit the website of Donna Andersen, LoveFraud.com, for further resources:

One of the most important warning signs that you may be involved with a sociopath: They always blames other people for their problems.

Most people assume that a sociopath is a serial killer, a murderer, or at least violent. After all, that’s what we hear on television – on crime shows, reality shows and even news programs. The truth: Not all sociopaths are violent, and most of them never kill anyone.

But they kill your soul.

Jeg står musestille ved enden av kjellertrappen, titter opp og lytter etter ham. Var han ikke her nede tidligere i dag, tok han med seg noe verktøy? Jeg frykter han står bak veggen med en hammer, klar til å slå meg i hodet når jeg kommer opp trappen. Blikkene hans har blitt mer og mer ondskapsfulle. Jeg tror ikke jeg overlever sommeren. Lyset fra entreen kaster ingen skygger. Jeg går forsiktig opp trappen med hendene over hodet for å beskytte meg mot slag. Han var heldigvis ute i hagen ennå.

Konstant redsel. Hvor går grensene, hva er han egentlig i stand til å finne på? Han er tross alt voldsdømt og har sittet i fengsel. Hva blir det neste?

Han fleiper ofte med at han har druknet tidligere kjærester (og svigermødre) i det bunnløse tjernet utenfor huset og deretter muret dem inne i hjørnet av kjelleren.

I hjørnet av kjelleren er det et mindre rom som er tilmuret. Jeg har stått utenfor og lurt på hva som befinner seg på innsiden. Kanskje bare et tilfluktsrom fra krigen eller noe. Enda en skremselstaktikk for å holde meg fast i sitt maktsyke spill.

Dette er et glimt inn i hverdagen min hvor jeg i over 5 år var sammen med en psykopatisk scientolog. Blander man scientologi med psykopati får det svært alvorlige konsekvenser. En dødelig cocktail med hjernevask og ondskap.

Dette er en syk mann. En mann Scientologikirken i København har gått god for og beskyttet i årevis. En mann de mente var perfekt og suksessfull. Og som de håpet de kunne melke for penger og andre fordeler. Selvsagt er det meg det må være noe galt med som ikke lykkes med dette fantastiske funnet av en mann. Hvor mange ganger har jeg ikke bedt om hjelp. I stedet ble jeg straffet, truet, ydmyket og utnyttet på det groveste. Jeg har betalt min pris.

Les også: Hvordan takle en psykopat

Når det ble kjent at jeg hadde funnet en ny kjæreste, Geir Isene, en som kirken har bannlyst fordi han har kritisert dem offentlig, ja, da skulle jeg bannlyses også. En av mine tidligere scientolog-venner som er ansatt i Scientologikirken kontaktet min eks-samboer like etterpå og forteller han at han skal prise seg lykkelig for at vi ikke fikk barn sammen, for nå kan de virkelig se hvilket ondt menneske jeg er som har forlatt “gruppen”. Mitt sanne ansikt har vist seg for dem.

Scientologer er så ekstreme i sin tankegang at de får selv ekstremister til å blekne.